My creativity is frequently wasted.
I have devoted myself to mending what can’t be resolved or wasting time by misplacing it. I’ve spent countless hours ruined by guilt or chewing up my nails over things I can’t change or worried about what hasn’t even happened. I think I was born guilty…but of what?
This year, it seemed obvious that making a New Year’s Resolution would only provide me another avenue for guilt or end in another year of “stop biting my nails” failure. Instead, an idea was presented to me by a friend to make a list of things I would like to accomplish over the next year. The focus of the list wouldn’t be on things I have to give up or change…but rather an exciting opportunity to put down all those projects, ideas and adventures (big or small). And I do love a ‘to-d0’ list! I regard my list, which took me some time to finalize, as a celebration of all the little joys that are often overlooked. Some are things I’ve gotten away from…that slipped off the end of a day before I could catch them. Others are things I’ve had on my ‘ list’ for some time. And some are an invitation to new adventures.
As some of you may know, my birthday also falls in the holiday season. So to incorporate that…my list consists of 32 things I want to do before I’m 33. I decided to remove the pressure for this list to be full of ‘grand’ things. Instead, this ended up being a delightful mix of every day achievements, small pleasures and some very practical goals. I divided it up among my favourite things…writing, reading, the outdoors, crafting, learning, adventuring and cooking. The primary focus of all of this is simply to point myself in the direction of all that I love. So over the next few weeks and months I will be sharing this list with you; along with all the fun projects and adventures and learning that will come from it. I can hardly wait! But first, I promised Melissa we’d share our lists over tea the next time I’m in Ottawa. So you’ll all just have to wait.
I will, however, start off by sharing the first few pieces of the list. Numbers 1 through 12 all fall under the “Head to Toe” Craft Project. A little challenge I wanted to create to help summon the joy of crafting back into my life. I got a little burnt out this year and started to really hate anything related to sewing or knitting…so it seemed like I needed to put it all away for a while. But now feels like the right time to nestle into winter and dig away at all those patterns I always wanted to take a stab at. So the Head to Toe Craft Project will involve creating 12 pieces of clothing that go from ‘Head’ to ‘Toe’. Knit or Sew. By the end of 2012, I will have a little wardrobe custom made by me!
Some of these will take no time at all to complete and others will take their share of my craft time….but it seemed reasonable to create one piece for every month of the year. I haven’t got many rules for this part. The only major rule is that I have to complete at least one item for each on the list. The other rule: It was pointed out to me by my good friend Stephanie that I have a tendency to ‘unravel’ things that are near completion (or even totally finished) because I’m a bit of a knitting perfectionist. I’ve taken apart more sweaters than you would want to know about. And so it was suggested, and I’ve accepted, that for these particular projects….I should show off whatever I’ve made…whatever state it comes to in the end…and ‘NO’ unravelling!
So here is the first 12 items on my “32 before 33” list. My “Head to Toe” Craft Project:
1) Hat & Mitts
7) Bra & Underwear
12) Tank Top
On New Years Day I dove right in and completed the “Hat”. I’ll share once the mitts are complete!
And so it happened. I figured it would, but I just wasn’t sure how and when. I knew that one day the weeks and weeks of markets and sales, marketing and ordering and sewing and marching through the whole process of keeping my own little business in order…after weeks of 50+ hours….after eating and breathing my love of craft. I took a few bites that tasted sour. Really sour.
And it was time to take a very lovely step back. So, is this the end of The Raw Edge…no! You see..I simply love the art of making too much to stop making. But it’s time to take a break. It’s time to taste the comfort of and sheer joy of creating whatever I want, whenever I want. Maybe I just don’t have what it takes…or maybe I value my creative spirit too much to let it go on feeling so so bad.
So these weeks are weeks of change. I’m taking the shop down for a while, kicking around some new ideas and simultaneously packing my bags. In 3 weeks I’ll leave Peterborough (my home for the last year) and I’ll head back to where my heart truly feels at home…the Haliburton Highlands. I am now the new administrative coordinator for the Haliburton Highlands Outdoors Association (and currently mothering tanks and tanks of lake trout destined for our lakes). And in the evening and weekend hours…I’ll play. I have a thousand projects and a thousand “to make” lists that I can’t wait to delve into. There are poems to write and short stories to finish. And there is the set of backcountry skis and snowshoes that saw way way way too little use last winter.
I can’t wait to share all of that with you!
In the meantime, there are orders to be finished and fabric to be sorted. I will be hosting two more sales to help clear out some of my summer crafts before the move. If any of you live in the Peterborough area, please get in touch as I’ll be opening my home soon with an ‘in-house’ garage sale of sorts.